We Are More Than We Are
by Lady Caitlyn Crowne
Summary: "They were both now standing on that same metaphoric ledge, just a step shy of plunging into the unknown. Hands clasped, it didn't matter much who's foot it was that moved first; both would come down from it, no matter what side it would be."


Cross posted on Ao3 on 13-01-2019

First work on this fandom so I'm really sorry if it's not that great. I had the idea last night and just had to put it on paper.

I really love this two, their dynamics are a major reason why I've been watching The Flash honestly.

Not beta'd so all mistakes are my own. Do let know what you think :) Enjoy!

* * *

He found her on the roof of S.T.A.R. Labs, laying on top of the old navy blue blanket he had draped over her shoulders just an hour before. His steps were quiet as he approached her; she didn't bother to acknowledge him, not even when he was standing right next to her, foot just shy of stepping into the soft material she was laying on. Her eyes were lost in the vast night sky above, stars now shimmering brighter than ever before as the city around them stood in near complete darkness. It was eerily silent as well, save for the emergency services who were still busy transporting the injured, the sirens cutting through the soundless veil that had descended upon Central City as soon as the battle was over.

Everyone always speaks of the calm before the storm, but no one ever mentions how it is the silence after that shakes you to the core and gives you this sense of unease. _'Is it really over or are we just standing in the eye of the storm?'_ is always the question that stands in front of all others then, muscles still tensed ready for what may be coming next. But nothing else was coming, at least not for now. The villain was behind bars, safely tuck away where he wouldn't be able to harm anyone else ever again. The people in the city below were safe. The heroes had won. But no one pries or wonders about what the heroes do after everything is done. Does everyone just assume they go home, take a bath and get some sleep like everyone else?

His eyes focus on the city and the blue lights occasionally flickering between buildings. Those people down there will never know how their hero Flash was now laying asleep on a cot after having a couple of bones setted back; how Iris and Nora had held each other, tears in their eyes as his screams of pain echoed through the halls. How Ralph had blamed himself for all of it, even when he done everything he could. How Sherloque had actually sat by him then, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and spoken those words he needed to hear, the ones on the back of his mind that refused to be acknowledged ( _'It wasn't your fault. You did what you could'_ ). How Cisco had passed out on his chair somewhere during the aftermath, body completely drained after using his powers too much (but not before he had made sure, with the last of his energy, that his best friend was alright and warm enough).

How Caitlin had disregarded her own injuries to tend to everyone else first, setting bones, disinfecting wounds and even mending their hearts and their spirits by offering kind words; and how she had smiled, for the first time that day, when Cisco had placed a warm blanket around her shoulders and gently reminded her she should take care of herself.

… Okay, maybe that last part was just for him to know.

He caught some movement on the corner of his eye and found her looking at him. She was still wearing her Killer Frost blue jacket, despite it being ripped in several spots where recently treated gashes peered through; the top underneath was stained with dark spots which he assumed was dry blood and her high heel boots laid messily discarded somewhere at the edge of the blanket, like she had just kicked them off and not bothered with where they had landed.

They held each other's gazes for what felt like an eternity before she wiggled herself a bit to the side and patted the spot next to her. Cisco nodded and wordlessly laid down, his eyes immediately getting lost on the sky above, like hers had been when he had first found her. It was oddly comforting, he realised as he mapped stars and constellations, to just lay there in silence after what had transpired and being able to look up, wondering and marvelling at the big unknown. They had that privilege because they were alive; many hadn't been so lucky.

Maybe it was just the body laying beside his own, so warm as his own finally putting his mind at ease. He had woken up with a start, finding the lights of the cortex dimmed. He could barely discern the forms of Iris and Nora, hurled up together on the small couch someone had no doubt dragged from the break room and placed by the door of the room where Barry laid recovering from his injuries. Ralph and Sherloque where nowhere to be seen; but so was _her_. With some effort he had managed to stand-up after shrugging the blanket someone had draped over him, feet immediately carrying him towards the roof where he was so sure he would find her.

Cisco had been secretly pleased for knowing her so well.

He risked a quick glance at her face and found that her eyes were again lost on the vastness above; but now that he was closer he could see the glistering in them and the way her face had scrunched up slightly. He suddenly felt the urge to hold the hand that was resting next to his but decided against it, not wanting the gesture to perhaps lead to something both weren't really prepared to deal with. Emotions were running high and they had nearly lost one another, the echoes of their names leaving each other's lips still ringing through the night air. He knew there was something there, something both had refused to acknowledge so many times before and that it now hung heavy above them just ready to burst.

Caitlin swallowed loudly when their fingers accidentally brushed but didn't move her hand away, not even when their pinky fingers remain touching. It felt weird to him that after all that time of being friends they would have reached a point where a simple touch would be _this_ meaningful; he supposed that was what happens when you stand on that ledge, gazing into the unknown but not quite ready to jump. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to envision that metaphor in his mind. Where was she standing? Was she behind him or next to him, peering down at the same darkness with wide eyes? He couldn't be sure, not when she hadn't said something. But he knew she was there; he just couldn't pinpoint _where_ exactly.

The super moon, that had been obscured by quite an heavy passing cloud up until that point, finally became visible, casting their forms in silvery moonlight. He couldn't help letting his mouth fall open as he took the sight; but it was the way the light made Caitlin's white strands of hair shine that really took his breath away. Cisco couldn't help but stare in awe at just how angelic and beautiful she looked, bright eyes and the beginning of a smile teasing her lips. Her face had visibly relaxed when she finally met his gaze again, eyebrow raised in question; he completely forgot his mouth was still hanging open and quickly closed it but he knew it was too late when a small laugh escaped her. He couldn't help the flush that rose from neck all the way to his cheeks, suddenly feeling embarrassed for being caught staring with his mouth agape. But she didn't seem to mind, her eyes soft as she tentatively moved her hand bit by bit until it rested on top of his.

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow, eyes searching hers for answers to the unspoken questions that were lingering in the little space between them on the blanket. His mind immediately conjured that same image from earlier, the one where he was standing on the ledge wondering where Caitlin may be; he could now see her behind him, her hand outstretched for him to take. He felt the full weight of the decision on his shoulders as she had made her move and now waited patiently for him to make his. Cisco knew that she was putting whatever this thing between them was in his hands, knew she was trusting him wholeheartedly with it and that made him more scared than he had ever been in his life. His eyes moved up to the stars again, as if the answer he sought was somewhere in the cosmos. He could feel his heart beating erratic in his chest and was sure hers was beating just as fast, despite the hand above his feeling cooler than it should have been. It was easy to forget sometimes that this amazingly warm and caring woman held the ice cold bite that was Killer Frost on the inside.

And that was when he started to wonder what KF would say about all this, until he remembered that she could hear and see everything Caitlin did and vice-versa. Was she encouraging her? Now that was a truly funny thought, taking in consideration the ice queen had complained before about Doctor Snow's taste in men (and clothes, comparing both as being terrible). He couldn't help but feeling a bit smug at that thought; he also couldn't help by taking it, as silly as it sounded, as the sign he needed to make his move.

Cisco twisted his hand underneath hers, his palm now facing up and gently laced their fingers together. He heard the way her breath hitched at the action, felt her gaze on their joined hands like she was looking at it in another light. And she was, although she would never admit it out loud that she had wondered before how they would fit together. Sure, with them being best friends and all, she could have simply asked him to take her hand and hold it; but it didn't feel right to do so. It was intimate the way one's fingers felt interlocked with another's, like the world was nothing but a giant messy puzzle and there were two pieces that had been lucky to find one another and fit together perfectly.

They were both now standing on that same metaphoric ledge, just a step shy of plunging into the unknown. Hands clasped, it didn't matter much who's foot it was that moved first; both would come down from it, no matter what side it would be. Yes, the option to step down of the ledge onto solid ground remained open, should whoever made the first move decide things needed to stay as they were. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth but he was ready to compromise, if that meant Caitlin's happiness was assured.

But that wouldn't be the case, he suspected, as soon as their eyes met again and he saw the way she was looking at him, like she was really _seeing_ himfor the very first time: not just as her best friend but also as something else.

The city grew silent around them, the noise completely drowned out by synced heartbeats. Cisco wasn't sure how long they laid there until Caitlin decided she was the one to take that final step, her hair cascading around them as she finally closed the distance between them.

Later she will deny having done so and blame Killer Frost for it; but he knew it was _her_ and her warm brown eyes that he saw before the fireworks behind his eyelids exploded and the butterflies residing on this stomach took flight.


End file.
